I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
