So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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