I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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