hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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