Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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