just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i believe in u and ur pee
as a side note pls kill me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
