they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
