Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
