that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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