OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Is Oprah even human
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Everclear isn't food dammit
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
