I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
