I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
