matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
