did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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