Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
