Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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