you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
