trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
