My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
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