Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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