Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
