12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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