im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!