didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there