i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.