her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
