Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
