Did you just see the Batmobile???
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
