I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Randomize
