I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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