Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
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