Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
