I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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