You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize