I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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