He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
