He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
