I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
