He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
