Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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