His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
smell my finger.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Randomize
