I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
