We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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