Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize