Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he was CRYING into my vagina
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
