I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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