I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
