How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
