Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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