Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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