going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
