dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
