just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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