I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
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One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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