Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
