I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize