I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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