We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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