i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
