There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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