Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
