redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
