There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize