Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Actions speak louder than pants.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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