I don't usually arrange sex via text message
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
