apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Text me some of your sweat
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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