ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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