Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
