I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
