We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
